Falling even more in love

I never thought it could be possible to be in love with a dozen different boys at once! All day and night sunday and monday I was acting as madre to one of the boys houses, and it was one of the sweetest experiences I have ever had. The days were challenging, of course, attempting to get everyone to do their chores, get to meals on time and bathe, ect. We fought, played, wrestled, cuddled, argued and laughed a lot! But then that night every one of them wanted nothing more than to show affection toward me. These boys are not like the boys in the states who have a mother to coddle them and be coddled by them, so even the older boys just want to be loved on. I was sitting on the couch with three boys combing my hair, two in my lap and the rest holding any available appentage. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. Love crosses the language barrier.
As I have previously mentioned, days here are always eventful. This week we had a gathering here at the orphanage that included three other orphanages, as well as many of the kids from surrounding villages. We had a show put on for them and then handed out a donated toy for each of the kids. Tomorrow we are doing a garage sale open to the public as a fundraiser for the orphanage.
I am always surprised how friendly the peruvians are. They always like meeting new people, especially gringos! Whenever we go out anywhere we gather quite a lot of attention. Today on the bus a very strange old man kept taking pictures of me and two other girls. It was very funny, but creepy too! He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
My comprehension of the spanish language is not progressing as quickly as I had hoped. Communication is still extremely difficult. My top priority at this moment is to try and learn as much as I can as quickly as I can. Teaching classes or being in charge of kids for any events is ridiculously hard without Spanish. It is difficult to be taken seriously when I don´t speak the language, although it is understandably so.
I have not come to many conclusions about how to love these children. I feel like a fraud when I say ¨I love you¨. That statement comes with a promise. To me it means that I will do anything it takes to do what is best for you. And although I mean it with all of my heart, I will not be here forever and I don´t want them to think love is temporary. The only permanent thing I can do for them is to teach them about the love of Jesus, which will never leave. But these are just babies, and they need people, too.

Getting very, very attatched....

Every day here is so busy and eventful! My normal day usually consists of helping with school in the mornings, and then teaching music throughout the day until after 5. A few days a week I help with the older kids Bible classes, although ¨helping¨ is a generous term, considering I allow my spanish speaking parter, Anthony, to do most of the actual lessons and communicating. Most of the evening is taken up with various activities with various children, so my days are very full, but I love every minute of it.
Yesterday I was on baby duty for our newborn, little Guatalupe. I am in no way, shape or form describable as a worried or easily scared person, but being responsible for this little one absolutely terrified me! Paranoia was my constant companion. Everytime she twitched or frowned I thought I had somehow done something horrible to her. She is so fragile! Eventually I was able to somewhat relax and we took a nap together. That child is ridiculously and stunninly beautiful.
There is always something to be doing with the children. A lot of them love to hear me play guitar and sing to them, which has quickly become one of favorite things to do. My other favorite is the soccer games that frequently take place outside. At least a few times a week the boys get a game together, and at ten years old they are already as good as I am! For the girls I brought jewelery making stuff with me from the states and they all really enjoy doing that with me.
I have only been a part of these kids´lives for about a week, and already leaving them seems unfathomable. Is it wrong for me to love them so incredibly much when I cannot be a permanent part of their lives? They have such a need for love and I have so much to give to them. How can I give my love to them in a way that won´t end up hurting them? I have no idea.

Beginning my peruvian adventure

In the interest of how much I want to talk about the beautiful orphan children, for now I will skip all of the events leading up to my arrival and settlement at Hogar de Esperanza. The uncomparable beauty of South American children, of course, goes without saying. Countless pairs of chcolate colored eyes captured my heart on day one. But sometimes I get the feeling that some of them know exactly how cute and pretty they are, and think they can walk all over me. Which may have been true for the first few days, but I am quickly beggining to catch on to their mischief and schemes. Never before have I seen such an fascinating cross between troublemakers and sweethearts. I pray every day that each of these precious ninos will someday have a family to love them, and the possibility of that not being in their future breaks my heart.
My first few days here at the alburgue were crazy. A newborn arrived on the same day I did, so the volunteer coodinater, Samantha, was completely swamped and unable to go over anything or help me settle in. Circumstances sort of left me floundering a little bit. But things worked out. I met the other volunteers and some of the children and almost immediately started teaching music classes. The advantage I have that most of the other teachers do not that the kids chose to take lessons. When they genuinely want to learn, it is a joy to teach.
The language barrier is a huge hindrance. I am spending as much time as I can studying espanol in order to be better able to communicate. As it is, when I attempt to speak, I am generally met with either laughter or mockery. Just the other day, I accidently told the 14 year old girls that I had 5 boyfriends waiting for me in the states! Obviously they thought this was quite amazing.
This weekend I am solely responsible for a house of a dozen boys, all but one of them 9 and under. Definitely going to be an interesting experience! Around here we all have to be extremely flexible, as well as being able to go outside our comfort levels to do what has to be done. Nothing could be more exhausting, or more rewarding. All of us our here because we believe more than anything that each child deserves love and security.

More to come about the peruvian orphans!